When Perfectionism Hijacks Potential: ADHD, Leadership, and the Myth of Doing It Right

ADHD and leadership might seem like a paradox, especially when perfectionism enters the picture. You’re full of vision, creativity, initiative, and insight. Yet somehow, you're also the one who doubts yourself, freezes with indecision, and constantly searches for the “right” answer, fearing intangible consequences for a misstep.

This makes sense when you consider children with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages by age 12 than their neurotypical peers (Barkley, 2008).

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: Perfectionism isn’t about high standards. It’s about control. It focuses on outcomes rather than excellence, on seeming, rather than being. For many high-capacity ADHD adults, it’s a protective stress response rooted in fear.

ADHD and the Level 2 Energy of Perfectionism

In iPEC’s Energy Leadership framework, which evaluates mindset on a 7-level scale, Level 2 energy reflects internal conflict, control, and “either/or” thinking. It’s the mindset of: I must get it right or I’ve failed. It’s catabolic energy: draining, rigid, and fear-based. It limits objectivity and problem-solving, keeping us stuck in stress.

iPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) defines these energy levels as part of its proprietary Energy Leadership™ Index assessment and coaching methodology, which has been used by thousands of coaches to support individual and organizational performance through mindset and energetic awareness (iPEC, 2024).

ADHD perfectionism often sounds like:

• “If I perform or please, others will accept me.”

• “If I can create a successful result, I’ll feel safe.”

• “There is only one ‘right’ solution, and I don’t know which one it is.”

• “I spend more time judging how I did than actually doing the thing.”

• “I should be further along by now (on this project, in my career, in life).”

You might look successful on the outside, but internally, you’re caught in a loop of pressure, over-analysis, and self-doubt by identifying with and internalizing the criticisms of the past.

It’s the weight of over-functioning under the belief that your worth is tied to flawlessness. And it makes leadership feel like a tightrope walk instead of a creative act.

Why Level 2 Hurts ADHD Leaders

When you lead from Level 2 energy, these patterns often emerge:

• Reactivity instead of intention

• Resistance to delegation or collaboration for fear it won’t be “done right”

• Overworking or overthinking to avoid judgment

• Second-guessing your creativity, intuition, and neurodivergent strengths

The result? You spend more energy protecting yourself than expressing your brilliance. You lead from pressure instead of possibility.

From Perfectionism to Possibility

What Does Level 5+ Leadership Look Like?

For ADHD leaders, Level 5 and above is where brilliance and impact align. At Level 5, you shift from controlling outcomes to co-creating possibilities. Instead of asking, “What if I mess this up?” you ask, “What’s the opportunity here?” You design systems that work with your brain, not against it.

At Level 6, your intuition takes the lead. You recognize patterns, connect big-picture ideas, and spark innovation that others may overlook.

At Level 7, leadership becomes fully conscious. You don’t lead to prove your worth, you lead because it’s who you are. You move from fear to flow, from performance anxiety to purpose. ADHD leadership at this level is expansive, values-aligned, and deeply empowering, not just for you, but for everyone you influence.

How Coaching Helps Shift from Level 2 to Level 5+

Coaching helps ADHD leaders become aware of their inner dialogue, identify the energy level they’re reacting from, and move from fear-driven performance to presence-driven leadership.

Research backs this up. ADHD coaching significantly improves emotional regulation, executive functioning, and self-determination, especially for adults and college students navigating high-demand environments (Prevatt et al., 2011).

While there are many ways to shift your mindset and energy, one that I love is the use of iPEC’s Core Disciplines in combination with coaching. There are 10 disciplines in total. Here are four that support the move from pressure to possibility, one-off results to a lasting process of excellence, and from performing to being:

• Trust the Process: Instead of chasing the perfect outcome, you commit to aligned action, step by step. You understand that growth is not linear, and leadership doesn’t require certainty or perfection to begin. You take responsibility for developing your own personal success formula over time. You accept that progress doesn’t come from having it all figured out. It comes from constantly evaluating, learning, and growing.

• Presence in the Moment: Perfectionism pulls your focus into the future: what might go wrong, what others might think. It wastes your energy on forward momentum. Presence brings you back to what matters now. You gain clarity. You stop spiraling. You respond instead of react.

• Authenticity: You stop trying to emulate “ideal leadership” and start building a version that fits your brain and your values. You lead from clarity instead of comparison. Leadership isn’t about holding it together. It’s about showing up, leading from your uniqueness.

• 100% Energetic Engagement: This isn’t about exhaustive effort. It’s about wholehearted presence and commitment. You stop trying to “get it right” and start creating from excitement and possibility. You move from “I have to do this perfectly” to “I get to show up fully.” You’re not spending valuable energy managing perception. You’re designing a leadership model that focuses on developing yourself to realize your vision in perfect timing.

A New Definition of Leadership

What if ADHD leadership wasn’t about masking or proving? What if it meant designing systems that support your brilliance, leading from your own values, and showing what becomes possible when we prioritize authenticity over performance, process over outcomes, being over seeming? Because the truth is: perfectionism doesn’t create excellence. Presence does. Vision does. Trusting and investing in int process does.

Final Thought

If you’re a high-performing ADHD adult stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, I see you. You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just ready to lead from a new place. From level 2 to level 5+. Where your energy is aligned, your process is ever developing, and your gifts aren’t waiting for perfection to be utilized. Let’s build from there.

References:

• Barkley, R. A. (2008). Executive functions: What they are, how they work, and why they evolved. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

• Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC). (2024). Energy Leadership™ Index Assessment and Core Disciplines. Retrieved from https://www.ipeccoaching.com/

• Knouse, L. E., & Mitchell, J. T. (2015). Incautiously Optimistic: Positively Biased Self-Perceptions and Self-Evaluation in Adults With ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 19(12), 1017–1025. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054714557355

• Mitchell, J. T., Nelson-Gray, R. O., & Anastopoulos, A. D. (2008). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder symptoms in adults: relationship to self-reported cognitive errors and executive functioning deficits. Journal of Attention Disorders, 12(5), 412–419. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054708318261

• Prevatt, F., Proctor, B., Best, L., Baker, L., Van Walker, J., & Taylor, N. (2011). The immediate impact of ADHD coaching on university students with ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 15(1), 1–9. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054709356181